Sunday, 31 March 2013

Parenting Fail

You know what I feel is wrong with parenting these days? We Google too much and gullibly believe all those researches done.

I don't think a reference link is needed because we all know about the FM vs BM debate. My girl has been on BM for 11 months now. I can't say fully because during the few nights I was recovering in the hospital, I gave her to the nurses who gave her FM and I didn't think much of it. All I wanted was rest. When I got home, I made it a mission to provide BM for as long as I could. Of course, there was that day my EBM was low and I desperately wanted to get out of the house with the husband. We got FM for the kid to try. She took in just one bottle. My supply kicked in and FM was never heard again. Whenever my EBM supply was low, I'd rant to Afah and mentally prepare myself for FM but at the same time, worked hard to get back my supply. Ups and downs, still on BM. Proud, yes but I'm starting to get really tired. I might just go FM.

I have my reasons for wanting to breastfeed Nuryn for as long as I could. I had an emergency c-sect, went through a slight bout of postnatal depression, felt less of a woman and to make myself feel better, I breastfeed. Also, FM is darn expensive. Why pay for something my body can produce? While I believe in the goodness of BM, FM isn't too bad. I grew up on FM, I turned out fine albeit a little brain damaged and emotional at times, but hey, who isn't?

Then there's the natural-without-painkillers-birth vs natural-with-painkillers-birth vs slice-me-up-birth. For 18 hours, I endured contractions without epidural or gas. I was prepared to tear and push a kid out but I was sliced open instead. Why? Waterbag burst, leaked for way too long, kid was head down but spine-to-spine, the doctor didn't like the fact that Nuryn's heartbeat was fluctuating and disappearing. I am thankful for medical advances, I am not thankful for the criticisms that followed. I am still trying not to kill myself for not having a natural birth. It may seem that I've healed pretty well on the outside but I can't say the same for my insides.

Hitting milestones. Maybe it's the BM but people have always commented Nuryn is a strong baby, hitting her milestones before babies her age. So when it seemed like she was going to bypass the whole crawling and head to walking, my mother beamed. I worried. I read this: Why skipping this milestone isnt necessarily a good thing. But my youngest sister walked at 9 months without going through the crawling stage. She turned out fine, a little clumsy at times but fine. Anyway, Nuryn decided to crawl instead and it was amazing. I don't know how to explain it but every time she discovered something on the floor, her face lights up. Of course, we faced another problem with her explorations..

My girl falls. She fell from the bed a few times, fell off her toy car and grew a bump, fell on her butt while working on her get the idea. I have a very active child and I accept the challenge. What I don't accept is being judged for my parenting choices. I believe falling is a learning stage. Sorta a rite of passage. "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up." Someone openly said diL and I are slacker parents. There is some truth but oh so judgmental. We are not going to be like the parents in Bubble Boy. Nuryn doesn't live in a bubble and the world isn't all pretty. But we're not slackers. We just do things a little differently from the rest. So Nuryn, please keep falling till you learn how to pick yourself up. We need you to be independent.

What else? Oh sleeping choices. Co-sleep vs sleep on your own. Rock her to sleep vs let her cry to sleep. This is what I do, I rock her to sleep or let her roll on my bed till she falls asleep. Co-sleep for a little while and when she's in deep sleep, carry her into her cot. As much as I love having her next to me, I can't sleep well knowing I might accidentally squash her. diL and I always end up on the extreme ends of the bed just so kid has enough space. It's not comfortable for us and really, after a whole day being parents, sometimes, it's nice to just be a married couple and snuggle up to sleep. Why do you think there are articles like "How to strengthen a marriage after a baby" or "Marriage tips after a baby". And theeeeen...

We get slack for leaving Nuryn with her grandparents while diL and I go out for the night. As much as possible, we bring the girl along. But I'm not going to be a social nuisance and bring my screaming child to a cinema. Anyway, dates are important. Quick dates are just as effective. We're the kind who will think about Nuryn when we're out without her but we have full trust in my parents and will not call in to check. If they need us, they'll call and that only happened once. Of course we're responsible parents. We're usually home before midnight so my mom can have her sleep. She's still working. I am ever so thankful for having understanding parents. Parenting is hard work. Keeping a marriage sane is just as hard and I think some trusted friends have known how many times I was close to giving up. But here's an update, WE'RE WORKING BETTER AS A TEAM!! FUCK YOU! =)

Wow lengthy. I'm not perfect. I'm still learning. I google but read with a pinch of salt. I try not to judge but it's hard. I have a few mom-friends that I turn to when I need help. I avoid "support/help" forums as much as possible. I don't like their "macam faham" vibe at times. I avoid mom-blogs that seem fake, blogging about how easy it is being a mom and wife. I'm just a little choosy. Again, I don't know where I'm going with this. Oh right, life is not all roses. Some times, it's a little guns and roses. And so, I will go listen to some GnR now.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Busy wedding weekend

This morning, I woke up contemplating if I should call in sick. My throat felt better, my body was still aching, my fever went down but I felt miserable. Seeing my girl's sleeping face and the messy room made me want to stay home. But I marched on to work because I had stuff to follow-up on. Sucked on a few Strepsils while I headed to work. Strepsils really did their job in numbing my throat.

Had a busy weekend. Dear lil cousin got married so we were busy helping out with the preparations. Pretty smooth sailing wedding, if you ask me. Food was delicious!! It was during one of my stuffing-face-with-oily-glorious-food that diL said, "Family weddings remind you of Pak Ngah kan?". Sorta. My late uncle always did an awesome job at running weddings. He did mine and I am always thankful for that.

Moving on (before I get sappy), my Nuryn Alysha turned 11 months that weekend. My cousin's kid also turned a month older, 10 months. =)

Pictures because too much words can be boring.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

One for the idiot

In some friendships, certain things do not have to be said coz the actions are enough. So my dear idiot friend (who is NOT my best friend, dammit), Nur Arafah, sankyu for the relentless years of listening to me whine and advices that saw me through as a daughter, girlfriend, wife (2 years, but still) and now mother. More to come hokay!!

She's more minah than me. I am still confused with paitao and paoto and potato. I tried to find non-tebal pictures of you but donch have lei. But wahhh, I look good or what.

Ni kira apa siak? International Women's Day was last week.

Tell another mom she's a good mom

I like reading Boobsy's blog because her entries prepare me for what might happen. It's easier to relate when you have someone who is on the same kinda frequency.

When I had that lil bout of post-natal depression, I twitted, she replied. Sorta gave me hope, made me feel that I wasn't that alone, that someone went through it and survived. Of course, when I needed a really fullout rant, there's the endless texting to Arafah.

When I felt crazily down about having an emergency c-sect, I read the various forums/articles she posted. That helped a shitload. I'm good with Google but sometimes, it's easier when someone helps to filter out the crap. Truth is, even at 11 months, I occasionally slip in that hole when I remember how alone and awake I was when I was sliced open. Then I mentally list out the reasons why the c-sect was needed and feel a little better.

When we had to take that flight to KL, her travel tips were amazing. I did the whole "bring toy! bring snacks! distract her!". I might have over-packed the diapers especially since it was only a weekend trip but hey, better more than less. Babies are highly unpredictable. But the husband was just as amazing when I needed the help.

When I started this blog, she linked me to whoring for traffic. Hahahaha. Ice cream money you know.

Every now and then, I stalk her blog for her tips on motherhood or read the articles/links she posted. She has an eight month headstart and weird as it may seem, I think our born-on-24th babies might have similar characters. You know those annoying theories they have on FB about the characters of people born on certain dates of the month (like 17th people are awesome), yeah..similar. Not really factual but interesting to read.

I've lost my direction with this entry. Haha. Ok, what I'm saying is there are few women I look up to for help/advice, she is one of them. There are few women that I say "If she can do it, I don't see why I can't", she is one of them.

So Boobsy, thank you. You've helped me in many ways and as much as I would like to return the favour, I have no idea where to start. No wait, I do. I'll hunt down a supplier for nursing sports bra. You are an awesome mom and doing just fine.

It's not much but here's some traffic~ =)

Boobsy can be found here:


This is to remind myself that I don't cross the line and enter her turf. Departmentalisation, not matrix because that would just blur the line.

Monday, 18 March 2013

Sharing is caring, so they say.

Found this article in my Facebook news feed. I think this hits a nerve.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

Via Sun Gazing

Saturday, 16 March 2013

It's just another Saturday

Kiddo was up before diL and I. Found her sitting up between us looking out at the window. Smiled when she saw that I was awake. We did our usual camwhoring in bed.

Gave her a nice, long bubble bath. She foamed up her tub after I poured in some soap. She smelt like soap the whole freaking day. -__-" Need to bring her out swimming soon. I also need to get a bicycle and that wee-ride because I don't quite like running. =p

Made porridge for her lunch: minced chicken, onions, broccoli and tomato.

The husband got activated, so off he went to Jurong FS. Kiddo and I took a 2 hour nap while he was away. Sleep debt repaid!

Escaped for a short bit later that night. Bought bubble tea and went to collect the namecards I ordered. Tested out the car camera the sister bought and it's GPS capabilities.

I actually spent a good portion of the afternoon calling up a few suggested print shops to ask for the prices. Didn't want to make a trip down unless the price was significantly cheaper, inclusive of the drive and parking. Ended up with my original quote since it was just in Tampines and the cards were ready. Ordered them on Friday and I picked them up on Saturday. Disclaimer: After discussing my options with the hubs, he gave the go-ahead for the printing and the cost will be under my own expenses since I went solo. This is my experimental advertising, wouldn't want to jeopardize anything if it fails.

Friday, 15 March 2013

Can I don't have a title for every entry?

This is my seventh bottle of the day. I think that's 600ml, so 4.2L? Drowning my insides. I'm losing liquid through my nose so I need to replenish, also water helps in my milk production. I'm still breastfeeding at 11 months. It's the only milk she's drinking except for the few days in KKH and that one time I gave her a bottle of S26 to try out.

 Sneezing and battling a leaky nose today. My body is telling me that I need to put in more sleep hours. That's what the weekend is for!

Weekends are also for camwhoring in bed with my little padawan (not that I'm a StarWars fan but the husband is and it rubs off a little on me), catching up on my life projects (relearning webdesign currently), growing fat on my sisters' baking/cooking, releasing a week's worth pent up emotions on the jogging track (as much as I like to punch stupid in the face, I can't), vomitting to Zuzka's work outs (still don't have abs, but my tummy is flatter I guess I have ONE ab?) and I don't know, squeeze in a date with the husband maybe. Oh probably work on some NinjaMums marketing/advertising and hunt out potential suppliers. Can't just depend on the 200+ likes for sales. There will be a day those likes will remain as likes.

 Getting the PPI/DPI of this image large enough for printing. Had to work some simple magic since the DPI of the original image was only 72. Need it to be 300/400 for printing. Also, had to delete off the white background of the logo so I can move it around on the pink background. Always save logos as PNG with transparent background. Yes, I didn't do up the logo, credits don't go to me.

I love this breakdown by Blogger. Hello readers and possibly friends/stalkers that were originally from LJ!! I'm not abandoning my LJ. The awesome rants are still in there. Thought I should just make my keyboard warrior a little bit more public. Hahahah, kiddinnnng~ or am I? Hoargh!

Thursday, 14 March 2013

What happened to our MSN friendship?!

I've always felt this was a great song.

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

The lil punkrocker

Rocking the out-of-cot look. Also, the Edward Cullen hairstyle. I miss her little mohawk. The girl was scooped out from the womb with an awesome mohawk. Punk rock abes.

Nora, the (keyboard) warrior princess

I am a keyboard warrior and the husband knows it damn well. The only problem is, I don't troll on forums. My skills are reserved for my LJ and twitter.

I have my reasons and my posts are generally directed to one person, the former boyfriend. Look, couples have different ways of resolving conflict. This is how I deal with mine. I don't judge your choice, I think you shouldn't with mine. I don't do screaming arguments. I let it sink deeeeeep in me then blast it all out online because I'm chicken like that. BUT my entries are private to a selected, trusted few. Trusted. Like I mentioned previously, if they're not comfortable, remove me.

So really, if you think I'm "a horrible person" to be with, well, guess what, you lucky person, you....I'm not with you and it really isn't your problem how bad my keyboard warrior skills have been/will be.

To zee hubs/former boyfriend who probably won't read this till news gets to him, thank you for the tolerating my crap these 13 years. I'm not perfect and I am trying my damn best to rectify my imperfections, so give me a little time.

Monday, 11 March 2013

Starting on Project #13230

Got home last night to diL sleeping while running a movie on the computer. Nudged him a little and told me that I'm off cooking duties that night. He had KFC in the afternoon. Y U NO KEEP SOME FOR ME?

Kiddo slept at 10pm, her dad woke up. Asked me if I've booked the tickets. Believe me, I've been trying for days but the MAS website wasn't being helpful. We tried again, refreshing like mad. I gave up and called their hotline. Line got cut off while I was giving the guy our details. Called again, finally settled everything. Paid on the spot and received our e-tickets immediately. =) And this was at 12.25am. Hahaha. Spent some time talking in bed while diL was waiting for his movie transfer. Fell asleep, woke up a few times because of the teething screamer. Now I'm feeling pretty dizzy. Probably from the adrenaline rush of knowing I've booked those flights and the severe lack of sleep.

Guess how much it was. $1147.40 for 2 adults and 1 infant. Tokyo return flights!! Wooooooohhhh~ Now that the hotel and flights are settled, the husband has kindly requested me to plan our days in Tokyo. Time to stalk travel forums.

Any travel tips for Tokyo with a baby?

Takuya Kimura, I'll see you soon. <3


Never denied it

Since 2000. You have no idea how bad it is. I NEED TO GET THIS TEE!!


Sunday, 10 March 2013


I found out something funny but too ridiculous to share it here. By the way, cookies.

My girl usually wakes up all smiley and giggly. Today was the rare few days she woke up screaming. She's teething = no sleep for me. Kiddo probably didn't have enough rest. We had a relatively busy Sunday (delivery and checking out remittance rates) and although she recovered from her fever, she suddenly developed coughs. Gah. Lepas satu, satu. March on, Nuryn, march on.
I will now award myself with the prestigious ParentsOfTheYear trophy for taking a picture of my screaming child instead of soothing her cries. Ease up people. She was all smiles 30 seconds after this picture.

Let me gloat. I received a pretty 77% for the school report I did 2-3 three days prior to the submission date. But I must thank the hubs and my family for entertaining the kiddo while I was researching and consolidating the report. Of course, there was that day when diL tried to distract me from work.
d: You want to watch a funny video?
n: I have school project to finish laaaahhh..
d: 20 seconds only
n: No. Go awaaaay~

It wasn't funny. His sense of humour and mine are on extremely different levels. Always have for years.

diL has a buddy who is selling a buncha awesome stuff. I love love love love the stuff he's bringing in. Long story short, diL suggested a collaboration. Right, adding on to my other life projects. A cynic might say "Jack of all trades, master of none". In the words of J.E.W, "Are you gonna to live your life standing in the back looking around?".


Thursday, 7 March 2013

The Fever

Thought it was a little strange that Nuryn fell asleep without much fuss (and the pacifier) on Tuesday night when I got home from class.

As usual, the kiddo woke up at 3am for her milk. While I was nursing her, I realised her body felt too warm. Checked her ear temperature and it was at 37.8 degrees. Funny thing is, she wasn't crying or cranky. In fact, after her milk, she sat up, looked at me and wanted to play. THREE IN THE MORNING!!! Anyway, managed to rock her to sleep and instead of placing her back in the cot, I had her sleep next to me since diL was working that night. Slapped a cool-aid on her forehead hoping it'll be okay before I leave for work. Texted diL that he might need to bring the girl to the doctor.

Woke up at 6.30am, took her temperature and thinking it would have gone down. Wrooooong. Contemplated and finally decided I should take the day off to take her to the doctor. Not that diL couldn't do it but I would rather have first hand news. Seriously, there is no way I would be calm in the office knowing that my girl has a high fever. Told my mom, woke the girl, forced some baby paracetemol and nursed her.

 Again, she wanted to play.

This continued til 10am, when she finally surrendered and took her usual morning nap after a super quick bath.

Clinic nurses felt her temperature was way too high and had to give some fever medication before we saw the doctor. Good thing Nuryn was in her I-dont-care-I-give-up moods so there wasn't a screamfest when I had to syringe down the med on my own. diL was out parking the car, so I was feeling step single mom.

Long wait. Camwhored. Nuryn was being unusually quiet. diL commented "Nunu sakit ikut perangai kau. Diam je..". When we finally got to see the doctor, Nuryn cried. The really sad, Y-U-NO-CARRY-ME kinda cry with tears and red eyes. Heartbreaking. Since we said no one was sick in the house and Nuryn's fever was a mystery, the doctor wanted to do a urine test to see if she has any infection. Apparently babies can get UTI. Booo. Anyway, no infection but sent the urine to the labs for further testing. (Much later, I was told that my youngest sister was feeling a little sick and played with Nuryn the whole Tuesday night. Might have passed some germs to kiddo. Hahahhaha.)

How did do a urine test? Sorta taped (I don't know the fancy medical term) a sterile urine bag on Nuryn and waited for her to pee. I had to nurse kiddo in the clinic and go "shhiiiishiiii". Oh such joy to see the bag filled with pee coz "no urine, cannot go home". Bah.

Spent $110, paid by the government (thank you) and headed to do my other errands. Girl slept throughout the drive and in the stroller. For a sick girl, I'm thankful she wasn't fussy. Still my silly, bubbly, hyper girl. =) <3

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

School tonight.

Won't be seeing this girl til after 10pm.

Won't be seeing this boy til tomorrow evening. I left for work before he came home this morning and he'll be leaving for work before I come home from school tonight. The next time I'll see him will be tomorrow evening when I knock off from work. T_T </3 Ok, march on.

Monday, 4 March 2013

Rights vs Responsibilities

Maybe it's just me but I always end up at some website telling me about the rights of a Muslim husband and responsibilities of a Muslim wife. Then I cringe. The little feminist part of me starts hating. Trust me, there's quite a lot of those websites where they champion the men. It's no wonder the world sees Muslim women as oppressed.

So I googled and I found this. Good to know.

This page hits the right nerve.

Okay, fine. Be fair, here's one for the men.


The StepMacamFaham Runner

I don't quite like running as much as I think I should. But I do it anyway. Sorta a timeout for me and I'm thankful that Bedok Reservoir Park is just 500m away from home.

I track my runs as Brisk Walking coz seriously, at that speed, it should just be brisk walking. I would run for 1km straight then slowly slack off with sprints and walks. 2.5km to the end from home and another 2.5km back. Doesn't feel far when you do it often.

On some mornings, I'd drag out the stroller and bring the girl along. Contrary to popular belief, evening runs are way better than morning runs. I have more energy in the evening than in the morning.

The moment Nuryn starts walking on her own, I will let her run alongside. For now, it's her and the stroller.

Sunday, 3 March 2013

I love chili, ask anyone close to me.

I have less than 200 people on my facebook, most of them are schoolmates, colleagues and friends that I actually interact with. On my twitter, a selected 25 people that I trust enough to rant to. My instagram, 56 followers. I checked just for this entry. Having said that, I don't monitor if these people choose to have me removed from their list. It doesn't bother me if I no longer have access to their fb/twitter/ig. But if you have over 200 followers and realise I am no longer one of them, I think you are stalking me. I choose the people I want to read. If that person starts to get really whiny about their relationship or life, I will remove myself. It's nothing personal. I just don't find it...I don't know..entertaining? It goes the same for the other person. If he/she feels I rant too much, please, remove me from your list. Trust me, I know there are days where I rant insanely and when I read back, I would have deleted myself. #truestory

Been feeling like giving up and walking away. But I realise it was pretty much my idea and I was the one who got things going. I love theory, I love the planning but I do not want to be NATO. To give it all up when I built it up, that's just not fair. I'm sorry, I'm staying. Right from the idea to the name creation, that was pretty much me. I have the saved texts to prove it. I could "main bangsat" but really, that's not how I am. There's this theory I learnt in school, something about "What good if you have the customers but no products to sell. What good if you have the products but no customers". It goes hand in hand. While I appreciate the effort in her sourcing the customers, I would like a little recognition for my efforts. We had the tasks delegated but mine is taken away, what's left for me? So, yes, I'm sorry if I read that status and felt that it was directed at me. I should eat this. But march on, Nora, march on.

I'm done with hopefully, my last two projects for this diploma. Now it's just two more exams and then, freedom!! I do have a few things lined up but it would really have to wait until April. I might have to visit the library to read up on them. It's been years and I want to do a really good job. Details soon.

Right now, I'm gonna roll around in bed till the husband wakes up. It is Sunday after all. =)